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James on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous in 1984
Background information
Birth nameJames Ambrose Johnson Jr.
Also known asRicky Matthews
BornFebruary 1, 1948
Buffalo, New York, U.S.
DiedAugust 6, 2004 (aged 56)
Los Angeles, California, U.S.
Genres
Occupation(s)
  • Singer
  • songwriter
  • dancer
  • arranger
  • record producer
Instruments
  • Vocals
  • bass
  • guitar
  • keyboards
  • drums
  • other percussion instruments
Years active1965–1990, 1996–1998, 2004
Labels
Associated actsThe Mynah Birds, Stone City Band, Heaven and Earth, Snoop Dogg, Mary Jane Girls, Process and the Doo Rags, Val Young, Eddie Murphy, Teena Marie
Websitewww.rickjames.com

James Ambrose Johnson Jr. (February 1, 1948 – August 6, 2004), better known by his stage name Rick James, was an American singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist and producer. Born and raised in Buffalo, New York, James began his musical career in his teen years. He was in various bands before entering the U.S. Navy to avoid being drafted in the early 1960s. In 1964, James deserted to Toronto, Canada, where he formed the rock band the Mynah Birds, who eventually signed a recording deal with Motown Records in 1966. James' career with the group halted after military authorities discovered his whereabouts and eventually convicted James to a one-year prison term related to the draft charges. After being released, James moved to California where he started a variety of rock and funk groups in the late 1960s and early 1970s.

After forming the Stone City Band in his hometown of Buffalo in 1977, James finally found success as a recording artist after signing with Motown's Gordy Records, releasing the album Come Get It! in April 1978. It's from this album where the hits 'You & I' and 'Mary Jane', were released, helping the album go platinum and selling over two million records. This was followed with three more successful album releases. in 1981, James released his most successful album, Street Songs, which included career-defining hits such as 'Give It to Me Baby' and 'Super Freak,' the latter song becoming his biggest crossover single, mixing elements of funk, disco, rock and new wave. James was also known for his soulful ballads such as 'Fire & Desire' and 'Ebony Eyes.' In addition, James also had a successful career as a songwriter and producer for other artists including Teena Marie, the Mary Jane Girls, the Temptations, Eddie Murphy and Smokey Robinson.

James' mainstream success had peaked with the release of his album Glow in 1985 and his appearance on the popular TV show, The A-Team. His subsequent album releases failed to sell as well as their predecessors. Rapper MC Hammer sampled James' 'Super Freak' for his 1990 hit, 'U Can't Touch This' which won Best R&B Song at the 1991 Grammy Awards; James received his only Grammy for composing the song.[3] By the early 1990's, James' career was hampered by his drug addiction and he was embroiled with legal issues. In 1993, James was convicted for two separate instances of kidnapping and torturing two different women while under the influence of crack cocaine, resulting in a three-year sentence at Folsom State Prison. James was released on parole in 1996 and released the album Urban Rapsody in 1997. James's health problems halted his career again after he had a mild stroke during a concert in 1998; he announced a semi-retirement.

In 2004, James's career returned to mainstream pop culture after he appeared in an episode of Chappelle's Show. The segment involved a Charlie MurphyTrue Hollywood Stories-style skit that satirized James' wild lifestyle in the 1980s. This resulted in renewed interest in his music and that year he returned to perform on the road. James died later that year from heart failure at age 56.

  • 1Life and career
    • 1.5Resurgence
  • 2Personal life
  • 5Discography

Life and career[edit]

Early life[edit]

Johnson was born on February 1, 1948, in Buffalo, New York, to Mabel (née Sims) and James Ambrose Johnson Sr. He was one of eight children. James's father, an autoworker, left the family when James was 10. His mother was a dancer for Katherine Dunham, and later worked as a numbers-runner to earn a living.[4] James's mother would take him on her collecting route, and it was in bars where she worked that James saw performers such as John Coltrane, Miles Davis, and Etta James perform.[4] James claimed later, in the autobiography Glow, that he lost his virginity at 'age 9 or 10' to a 14-year-old local girl, claiming his 'kinky nature came in early.'[4] James eventually attended Orchard Park High School and Bennett High School prior to dropping out. James was introduced to drugs at an early age and was busted for burglary as a young teen.[4] Due to his stints in jail for theft, James entered the United States Navy at 14 or 15, lying about his age, to avoid the draft. During that time, he also became a drummer for local jazz groups in New York City.[4] Due to him missing his twice-monthly Reserve sessions at the USS Enterprise, he found himself ordered to Vietnam.[4]

Early career[edit]

In 1964, James fled to Toronto.[5] Soon after his arrival three drunk white men tried to jump him outside a club; a trio of three other guys came to his aid. One of the men who came to his aid was Levon Helm, who at the time was an undiscovered member of Ronnie Hawkins' backing band.[6] He invited James to their show later that night and he ended up performing onstage with them.[5] In Toronto James made friends with local musicians Neil Young and Joni Mitchell.[4] To avoid being caught by military authorities, James went under the assumed name, 'Ricky James Matthews'.[4] That same year, James formed the Mynah Birds, a band that produced a fusion of soul, folk and rock music. In 1965, the band briefly recorded for the Canadian division of Columbia Records, releasing the single, 'Mynah Bird Hop'/'Mynah Bird Song'. At one point, Nick St. Nicholas of later Steppenwolf fame was a member; eventually bassist Bruce Palmer replaced him by the time 'Mynah Bird Hop' was recorded. James and Palmer recruited guitarists Tom Morgan and Xavier Taylor and drummer Rick Mason to form a new Mynah Birds lineup, and soon traveled to Detroit to record with Motown. Before the group began recording their first songs for the label, Morgan left, unhappy about the label's attitude towards the musicians. Neil Young eventually took his place. It was while in Detroit that James met his musical heroes, Marvin Gaye and Stevie Wonder. After meeting Wonder and telling him his name, Wonder felt the name 'Ricky James Matthews' was 'too long', and instead told James to shorten it to 'Ricky James'.[4]

In 1966, a financial dispute in Toronto between James and the Mynah Birds' handler, Morley Shelman[7][8][9] led to Motown's learning of James's fugitive status with the Navy. Hoping to preempt any scrutiny by the Feds, Motown execs told Rick they would not be releasing any more of his material and 'convinced' him to come back and work with them after straightening out his legal issues.[7][9] James surrendered himself to the FBI, and, in May 1966, was sentenced by the Navy to five months' hard labor for 'Unauthorized Absence'. He was not yet 19 years old. James actually escaped from the Brooklyn Naval Brig after only six weeks' confinement, but after six months on the lam surrendered himself a second time and, with help from his mother, found legal assistance from his cousin, Congressman Louis Stokes and an attorney, former Marine Captain John Bracken, who pled James second court-martial down from a potential five years' hard labor to five months.[4][10] After his release from Portsmouth Naval Prison in August, 1967, James returned to Toronto[11] and endured another detention, initially derailing resumption of his career with Mynah Bird bandmate Neil Merryweather, with whom he would later collaborate, first at Motown and then in Los Angeles.[9][12]

In 1968, again working under the pseudonym, Ricky Matthews, James produced and wrote songs at Motown for acts such as The Miracles, Bobby Taylor & the Vancouvers, and The Spinners. According to James, he briefly got involved in pimp activity during this time, but stopped because he felt he was not qualified for it due to the harsh activity and the abuse of women there.[4] It was during this third stint at Motown that James met musician Greg Reeves. Reeves, hoping to find a better situation than the US$38 a week (US$612 in 2018 dollars[13]) he was earning as a session bassist for Berry Gordy, joined James, looking to 'hitch a lift from Neil Young's rising star,' and relocated Los Angeles.[14]

On one of his first night in Los Angeles, James was crashing on musician Stephen Stills' couch. When he awoke he saw a stoned young man sitting on the floor in the lotus position. The man's wrists were bleeding so a scared James sought help. James was later formally introduced to the man who was Jim Morrison, lead singer of the Doors. After the Doors opened for Buffalo Springfield at the Whisky a Go Go, Morrison tricked James into taking acid.[5]

In California, James initially worked as a duo with Greg Reeves, but soon after James introduced Reeves to Neil Young, it was Reeves, not James, who was hired as bassist for the newly formed rock supergroup, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young.[15][16][17] Around this time James formed several versions of the rock band Salt'N'Pepper[16] and got involved with hair stylistJay Sebring, who agreed to invest in his music.[4] In 1969, James claimed that Sebring invited him to attend a party at actress Sharon Tate’s house, but he was too hungover to get out of bed. The next morning he discovered that Sebring had been murdered when he saw the Los Angeles Times headline 'Sharon Tate, Four Others Murdered.'[6][5]

In 1970, James and Salt'N'Pepper member Ed Roth later were included in Bruce Palmer's solo album The Cycle is Complete. The duo also recorded as part of the group Heaven and Earth in Toronto. Heaven and Earth eventually changed their name to Great White Cane and recorded an album of the same name for Los Angeles label, Lion Records, in 1972 & it was released that year. James formed another band, Hot Lips, afterwards.

Solo career[edit]

In 1973, James signed with A&M Records, where his first single under the name Rick James, 'My Mama', was released in 1974, becoming a club hit in Europe.[4]

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In 1976, James returned to Buffalo, New York, and formed the Stone City Band and recorded the song 'Get Up and Dance!', which was his second single to be released. In 1977, James and the Stone City Band signed a contract with Motown's Gordy Records imprint, where they began recording their first album in New York City.

In April 1978, James released his debut solo album, Come Get It!, which included the Stone City Band. The album launched the top 20 hit, 'You and I', which became his first number-one R&B hit. The album also included the hit single, 'Mary Jane'. It eventually sold two million copies, launching James's musical career to stardom, and helping out Motown Records at a time when label fortunes had dwindled. In early 1979, James's second album, Bustin' Out of L Seven, followed the previous album's success, eventually selling a million copies. A third album, Fire It Up, was released in late 1979 going gold. Around that same period, James launched his first headlining tour, the Fire It Up Tour, and agreed to invite the then-upcoming artist, Prince, as well as singer Teena Marie, as his opening act.[4] James had produced Marie's successful Motown debut album, Wild and Peaceful and was featured on the hit duet, 'I'm a Sucker (For Your Love)'. James was credited with naming Marie, 'Lady Tee', on the song, a nickname that stuck with Marie for the rest of her career. The Fire It Up tour led to James developing a bitter rivalry with Prince, after he accused the musician of ripping off his act.[4]

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Following the end of the tour in 1980, James released the ballads-heavy Garden of Love, which became his fourth gold record. In 1981, James recorded his best-selling album to date, Street Songs, which like his previous four albums, was a concept album. Street Songs featured a fusion mix of different genres, including rock and new wave, as well as James's brand of crossover funk, enabling James's own style of 'punk funk'. The album featured hit singles such as 'Ghetto Life', the Teena Marie duet 'Fire and Desire', 'Give It to Me Baby', and his biggest crossover hit to date, 'Super Freak', which peaked at number 16 on the Billboard Hot 100, and sold over 1 million copies. Street Songs peaked at number one R&B and number three pop, and sold over 3 million copies alone in the United States. Following up that success, James released two more gold albums, 1982's Throwin' Down and 1983's Cold Blooded.

During this period, envious of Prince's success as producer of other acts including The Time and Vanity 6, James launched the acts Process and the Doo-Rags, and the Mary Jane Girls, featuring his former background singer Joanne 'JoJo' McDuffie as the lead vocalist and background performer, finding success with the latter group, due to the hits, 'All Night Long', 'Candy Man', and 'In My House'. In 1982, James produced the Temptations' Top 10 R&B hit, 'Standing On The Top'. In 1983, James recorded the hit duet, 'Ebony Eyes', with singer Smokey Robinson, as well as a ballad 'Tell Me What You Want' with an introduction by Billy Dee Williams. In 1985, James produced another hit for entertainer Eddie Murphy with the song 'Party All the Time'. That same year he appeared on an episode of The A-Team with Isaac Hayes. After the release of his ninth solo album, The Flag, in 1986, James signed with Warner Bros. Records, which released the album Wonderful in 1988, featuring the hit, 'Loosey's Rap'.

James's controversial and provocative image became troublesome sometimes. During his heyday, James had presented his songs to the then-fledgling music video channel, MTV, only to be turned down because James's music did not fit the network's rock playlist. James accused the network of racism.[18] When MTV and BET both avoided playing the video for 'Loosey's Rap' because of its graphic sexual content, James considered the networks hypocritical in light of them still playing provocative videos by Madonna and Cher.

Decline[edit]

In 1989, James's 11th album, Kickin', was released only in the UK. By 1990, he had lost his deal with Warner Bros. and James began struggling with personal and legal troubles. That year MC Hammer released his hit signature song, 'U Can't Touch This', which sampled the prominent opening riff from 'Super Freak.' James and his co-writer on 'Super Freak', Alonzo Miller, successfully sued Hammer for shared songwriting credit and all three consequently received a Grammy Award for Best R&B Song in 1991.[19]

In 1997, James released Urban Rapsody, his first album since his release from prison on assault charges, and he toured to promote the album. That same year, he discussed his life and career in interviews for the VH1 musical documentary series, Behind the Music, which aired in early 1998. James's musical career slowed again after he suffered a minor stroke during a concert. In 1999, James accepted an offer by Eddie Murphy to appear in the comedy-drama Life.[20]

Resurgence[edit]

I Live In A Deserted Crack Collecting Soles 07 Youtube

Chappelle's Show[edit]

In early 2004, after years out of the spotlight James participated in a comedy sketch on Chappelle's Show, in a segment called 'Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories'. James and Murphy recounted humorous stories of their experiences together during the early 1980s. During the sketch, James's character, played by Dave Chappelle, utters the now famous catchphrase, 'I'm Rick James, bitch!' The sketches were punctuated by James, explaining his past behavior with the phrase, 'cocaine is a hell of a drug!'

James enjoyed a career revival after his appearance on the show. He supported Teena Marie's tour of her album La Doña and toured with her in May 2004; playing with her at the KBLX Stone Soul Picnic, Pioneer Amphitheatre, Hayward, California.[21] James gave his last performance at the 4th annual BET Awards on June 29, 2004. He performed a live rendition of 'Fire & Desire' with Teena Marie. James called out a girl backstage who didn't recognize him by saying, 'never mind who you thought I was, I'm Rick James, bitch!'[22]

Autobiography[edit]

At the time of his death, James was working on an autobiography, The Confessions of Rick James: Memoirs of a Super Freak, as well as a new album. The book was finally published in 2007 by Colossus Books and features a picture of his tombstone.

Noted music journalist/biographer David Ritz, who had been employed by James to work on the book with him, later said that this version did not truly reflect how the musician wanted it published. In 2014, Ritz published his own, re-edited version, Glow: The Autobiography of Rick James.

Personal life[edit]

Relationships and children[edit]

Crack

James had two children with Syville Morgan, a former singer and songwriter. They had a daughter, Ty, and a son, Rick Jr.

James dated actress Linda Blair from 1982 to 1984. They met after James read an interview where Blair called him sexy. He contacted her and spent time getting to know the actress during a short stint living at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood.[23] Early in their relationship Blair became pregnant and aborted their baby. James wrote in his memoir, 'I loved Linda and it hurt me that she would choose to abort our child without even wanting to talk to me about it first. I still look back on her choice with sadness and wonder about our baby, and how having that child might have changed me life.'[24] His hit song 'Cold Blooded' was about his relationship with Blair. 'It was about how Linda could freeze my blood,' he wrote in his memoir.[6]

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In 1989, James met 17-year-old party-goer Tanya Hijazi. The two began a romance in 1990. In 1993, the couple had their only child and James's youngest, Tazman. Following their respective releases from prison for assaulting Mary Sauger and Frances Alley,[25][26] the couple married in 1996 and divorced in 2002.

James was very close with Teena Marie, whom he met and began collaborating with in 1979. Teena Marie stated they were romantically involved for 3 months and engaged 'for two weeks'.[citation needed] Their professional partnership lasted into 2004, when Marie released her comeback album, La Doña, which included her and James's duet 'I Got You'. When James died, Teena Marie said she struggled to come to terms with his death.[citation needed]

Friendships[edit]

James became close friends with Eddie Murphy after the two met in 1981. Following his exit from the United States Navy in 1984, Murphy's older brother Charlie Murphy, whose first post-Navy job was working as security for his brother, began spending time with James, and he bonded with the singer. Murphy would later recall on Chappelle's Show his sometimes strained relationship with James, which helped to revive James's name in the public eye after years of seclusion following his stroke in 1998. James also appeared in the episode recounting his memory of the experiences shared with Murphy, such as starting impromptu fights with him and staining Murphy's couch with mud.

James was good friends with actress Debbie Allen. Allen once invited James to a Broadway show and he fell asleep due exhaustion from his sexual activities. After the show she confronted him in the dressing room. She pinned him down and pleaded that he was throwing his life away. 'All you do is get high and have sex,' she said. He promised to change his ways, but he broke his promise that same night.[6][5]

James was also a friend of fellow Motown act performers Smokey Robinson and Marvin Gaye, singers James idolized as a teenager. Additionally, he befriended Gaye's second wife, Janis, and he was godfather of Gaye's daughter Nona. James's relationship with Robinson began shortly after James signed with Motown and, in 1983, the duo recorded the hit 'Ebony Eyes'.

Deserted

James also idolized former Temptations lead singer David Ruffin and Ruffin's self-proclaimed cousin, bass vocalist Melvin Franklin, and grabbed at the chance to produce the hit 'Standing on the Top' for them in 1982. Before that, the then-current lineup of the group recorded background vocals on two James-associated projects—James's Street Songs (singing 'Ghetto Life' and 'Super Freak') and Teena Marie's It Must Be Magic (singing on the title track). In 'Super Freak', 'It Must Be Magic', and 'Standing On The Top', James famously shouted out, 'Temptations SING!'[citation needed]

Drug abuse and health problems[edit]

James's drug abuse began in his teens, first with marijuana and heroin.[4] James began using cocaine in the late 1960s. His cocaine use became an addiction by the 1980s, and he began freebasing by the end of the decade. James smoked crack cocaine in his Beverly Hills mansion and often put aluminum foil on the windows to block onlookers.

His drug use led to major health problems. In April 1984, he was hospitalized after being found unconscious in the middle of his house by a friend.[27] James claimed that he quit cocaine when he entered prison, although his autopsy showed there was a small amount of the drug in his bloodstream at the time of his death.[28]

Kidnapping and assault convictions[edit]

By the beginning of the 1990s, James's drug use was public knowledge. He was heavily addicted to cocaine and later admitted to spending about $7,000 per week on drugs for five years straight. In 1991, James and his future wife Tanya Hijazi were accused of holding 24-year-old Frances Alley hostage for up to six days (although accounts vary on how long she was actually held),[citation needed] tying her up, forcing her to perform sexual acts, and burning her legs and abdomen with the hot end of a crack cocaine pipe during a week-long cocaine binge.[26] In 1993, while out on bail for that incident, James, under the influence of cocaine, assaulted music executive Mary Sauger at the St. James Club and Hotel in West Hollywood. Sauger claims she met James and Hijazi for a business meeting, but said the two then kidnapped and beat her over a 20-hour period.[25]

James was found guilty of both offenses but was cleared of a torture charge in the crack pipe incident that could have put him in prison for the rest of his life. He served two years in Folsom Prison and lost a civil suit to Sauger, who was awarded $2 million.[29] He was released from prison in 1996.[30] In 1998, James was accused of sexually assaulting a 26-year-old woman, but the charges were later dropped.[31]

Death[edit]

On the morning of August 6, 2004, James's caretaker found him dead in James's Los Angeles home at the Oakwood Toluca Hills apartment complex, just outside Burbank. He had died from pulmonary failure and cardiac failure, associated with his various health conditions of diabetes, a stroke, pacemaker, and heart attack. His autopsy found alprazolam, diazepam, bupropion, citalopram, hydrocodone, digoxin, chlorpheniramine, methamphetamine, and cocaine in his blood.[32] However, the coroner stated that 'none of the drugs or drug combinations were found to be at levels that were life-threatening in and of themselves'.[32]

James was buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery in Buffalo, New York.

Digital releases[edit]

James's entire Motown Records back catalogue was released in 2014 on iTunes for the first time in digitally remastered form. This marks the first time many of his albums have been widely available since their initial releases. Physical copies of James's albums, namely Fire It Up, Garden of Love and The Flag, have become rare and highly sought-after by fans.

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Discography[edit]

Studio albums[edit]

  • Come Get It!with The Stone City Band (1978)
  • Bustin' Out of L Seven (1979)
  • Fire It Up (1979)
  • Garden of Love (1980)
  • Street Songs (1981)
  • Throwin' Down (1982)
  • Cold Blooded (1983)
  • Glow (1985)
  • The Flag (1986)
  • Wonderful (1988)
  • Kickin' (1989)
  • Urban Rapsody (1997)
  • Deeper Still (2007)

References[edit]

  1. ^Holden, Stephen (September 6, 1981). 'Punk Rock - Rick James'. NYTimes.com. Retrieved March 2, 2017.
  2. ^Jim Sullivan (October 13, 1991). 'The Age Of Hyphen-rock'. Articles.chicagotribune.com. Retrieved March 2, 2017.
  3. ^'Rick James'. Recording Academy Grammy Awards.
  4. ^ abcdefghijklmnopGetlen, Larry (July 5, 2014). 'Rick James' insane life of sex, drugs and music'. New York Post. Retrieved November 17, 2014.
  5. ^ abcdeJames, Rick (2014). Glow: The autobiography of Rick James. Ritz, David (First hardcover ed.). New York: Atria Books. ISBN9781476764146. OCLC862348461.
  6. ^ abcdCarley, Brennan (July 11, 2014). 'The 12 Most Rick James–y Moments in Rick James's New Memoir, Glow'. Vulture.
  7. ^ abBenjaminson, p. 42
  8. ^'Neil Young News: The Mynah Birds: An In Depth Exclusive'. neilyoungnews.thrasherswheat.org.
  9. ^ abcDurchholz, p. 23
  10. ^Benjaminson, pp. 43-47
  11. ^Benjaminson, pp. 47-48
  12. ^Bejaminson pp. 50, 53
  13. ^Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis. 'Consumer Price Index (estimate) 1800–'. Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis. Retrieved January 2, 2019.
  14. ^Bejaminson pp. 56
  15. ^Getlen, Larry (July 6, 2014). 'Rick James' insane life of sex, drugs and music'.
  16. ^ ab'Nick Warburton » Rick James'. www.nickwarburton.com.
  17. ^'4WAYSITE'. www.4waysite.com.
  18. ^Denisof 1988, pp. 69–71.
  19. ^James 2014, p. 296.
  20. ^James 2014, p. 317.
  21. ^'Rick James Performs at the 7Th Annual Stone Soul Picnic… Nieuwsfoto's | Getty Images Nederland | 51149124'. Gettyimages.com. May 31, 2004. Retrieved April 13, 2012.
  22. ^Times, Music (November 8, 2014). '5 Shocking Hip-Hop Award Show Moments: Rick James, Suge Knight, Diana Ross And More [WATCH]'. Music Times.
  23. ^Levin, Eric (November 22, 1982). 'Despite a Frightening Collapse, Funkstar Rick James Won't Let Anyone Rein Him in'. People.
  24. ^James, Rick (2007). The Confessions of Rick James: Memoirs of a Super Freak. Phoenix: Colossus Books. ISBN9780979097638. OCLC153931750.
  25. ^ abMORAN, JULIO (August 31, 1993). 'Woman Recounts Tale of Abuse at James Trial : Court: She says singer and his girlfriend beat her unconscious and revived her for further mistreatment. He faces life in prison if convicted on all charges' – via LA Times.
  26. ^ abCURTISS, AARON; CHEEVERS, JACK (August 3, 1991). 'Pop Singer Arrested on Torture, Drug Charges : Violence: Grammy-winner Rick James and a girlfriend are accused of imprisoning a woman at his Mulholland Drive home' – via LA Times.
  27. ^'Singer Rick James Admitted to Buffalo, N.Y. Hospital'. Jet. April 30, 1984.
  28. ^'Rick James Had Nine Different Drugs In His System When He Died'. MTV News. Retrieved January 5, 2017.
  29. ^'The Rise and Fall of a Super Freak'. Reprints.longform.org. Retrieved March 2, 2017.
  30. ^Marcus Errico (August 23, 1996). 'Rick James Gets Out of Jail, His Fiancée Goes In'. E! Online.
  31. ^'Rick James Denies Sex Assault Allegations'.
  32. ^ abSisario, Ben (September 18, 2004). 'Arts Briefing: Highlights; Rick James Autopsy Results'. The New York Times. Retrieved May 22, 2010.

Sources

  • Benjaminson, Peter (2017). Super Freak: The Life of Rick James. Chicago Review Press, Inc. ISBN9781613749579.
  • Denisof, R. Serge (1988). Inside MTV. Transaction Publishers. ISBN978-0-88738-864-4.
  • Durchholz, Daniel (2010). Neil Young: Long May You Run: The Illustrated History, Updated Edition. Voyageur Press. ISBN9781610604536.
  • James, Rick (2014). Glow: The Autobiography of Rick James. Atria Books. ISBN978-1-4767-6416-0.

I Live In A Deserted Crack Collecting Soles

External links[edit]

  • Rick James on IMDb
  • Rick James at Find a Grave
Retrieved from 'https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Rick_James&oldid=914886015'

I Live In A Deserted Crack Collecting Soles 07 Youtube

Hi guys. This is officially my first post here. It is a little bit odd, I mean reaching out in the virtual world. But I guess in some ways, we always go in blind. I am trying to figure out how to live life on my own. I don't think this is necessarily a question to go in the break-up section, as I am not dealing with break-ups any longer- I've had a few of them indeed, 5 in the past 3 years; my last one has been about 6 months ago, but in my view it did not follow a proper relationship, more like a short failed attempt at a relationship, which was never meant to be anyhow. The point is, when I look at my feelings, I do not miss the guy, the pain I still feel is some sort of guilt combined with spite, as I find that I am not capable to make proper decisions, and I'm angry with myself.
To give some context, with the risk of sounding defensive, I have quite a complex career, two qualifications at master's level, interesting jobs, awards won to go along with recurring unemployment since the recession, and a couple of hobbies I have practiced quite consistently for over a decade now. So it really is not that my life is hollow, or at least it should not be. But it feels that way. My professional field has indeed changed drastically since the recession and I don't know what on earth are we doing anymore or where we are heading. Meanwhile, I had these relationships and I felt happy. I like having someone to come back to, to come home to, to laugh with, to call when I feel funny or after some important thing (I don't know...my first lecture- I also teach- or my driving license exam or whatever). I also like being that for someone, having someone open to me. It genuinely makes me feel very happy, it makes me feel alive and in touch with something real, with something meaningful.
At some point, however, relationships were no longer accessible to me. I moved to this small university town, where I got a job, but where I barely interact with anyone. I am not particularly- i.e. romantically- interested in anyone around, nor is anyone interested in me. It is not at all easy to leave my location- finding a job is very hard these days. To top it up, after one year and a half here, I have become depressed (officially and clinically), meaning that it is harder and harder for me to find a way out. I wake up exhausted, I go to bed exhausted, it no longer matters whether I sleep or not, whether I eat or not. I try to take care of myself, eat and sleep, but that's not enough.
I should mention that I by no means devalue friendships, on the contrary. But it so happens I have no close friends, at least not here. Because of the whole economic situation and my background (i.e. no safety net back home) I had to move around a lot, wherever the jobs were...I made friends everywhere I went and we are in touch, but only every once in a while. Meanwhile, here, nothing. Another weekend alone- after doing the reasonable: reaching out, asking people if they want to hang out or just how they are doing etc. Nope, nothing. I guess many already have their friends or are workaholics (this is actually a thing where I am, as it is an elite university and people are obsessed with performing) or they left cause they can't stand the place either.
I can see that I have to learn to be happy on my own. But how? I genuinely feel that I am dying. The degree of isolation feels like cold shocks, literally like torture, like some sort of punishment- though I know it's not reasonable to think of it that way. I try to hug others whenever that's not too awkward (which is not often), just to feel some human touch. Or is this even possible? Can anyone be happy in such a situation? I don't know. I mentioned relationships in the beginning, because every time I did feel happy in the past 6-7 years at least, it was because of a romantic relationship. But there is something very fragile about this...as I cannot produce a relationship through my own means and so I can see how that lack of control can result in a catastrophe.

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